What have you been holding on to that continues to cause mental and emotional pain, anguish, frustration, or some other difficult feelings and emotions?
Do you find it easier to express anger and impatience than softness and kindness?
How can you be kinder to yourself? How can you be kinder to someone it’s difficult to be kind to?
Why not free yourself?
The answer most would say is, “Because it’s hard.”
Hard, yes, but oh-so-rewarding. Really, it’s about honoring, cherishing, and respecting ourselves—especially when others fail to or refuse to. We can allow ourselves to be free and experience more joy and gratitude. And really it’s only hard because in life we are taught to hold people accountable, and while that’s good we often do it in more abusive ways than constructive and healing ways. Persecution, disciplining, and convicting are much more black and white and the first place we go to when we feel wronged or when someone did something deemed wrong. The undoing of this, the pardoning, excusing, letting go are wrapped up in red tape whilst hanging out in the abyss of the gray area. Look, I’m all for the gray area, it’s imperative, as long as ‘red tape’ is not involved. We can hold people accountable all day, but when that other person takes no accountability or responsibility, then we are left wanting and holding—that’s exhausting.
Be accountable and responsible for your own thoughts, feelings, and behavior–sometimes there is no “justice” as we originally painted it. Vindication is hurting with the intention to hurt, so that’s what we carry—often without ever truly carrying it out, just allowing it to ruminate in our heart and mind. It’s hard to not be “right.” It’s hard to not feel seen or heard by the very person we are demanding to be seen and heard by. This is our malnourished ego holding on for dear life. All of us are trying our damnedest to navigate this very thing. That’s why we must soften our heart and free ourselves, no one can ever do that for us. We must be willing to embrace LOVE and relinquish fear. We must untether ourselves from others [their “stagnace,” unwillingness, “stuckness,” stubbornness, arrogance, “eliteness,” entitlement, carelessness, etc.].
What if justice meant the other person healed, learned from their mistakes, started “forgiving it forward,” contributing positively to their life, their community, and the world around them? What if justice meant that any and all parties involved evolved into a place of LOVE, compassion, kindness, and respect?
By Melissa Reese
The Pursuit Guru